Prayed for Faith...

I prayed for faith at the end of work today as worries started to flood my mind...its not good i know...really..but Somehow my heart was aching, due to worry...haiz...i really pray to lift my worries to you Lord...
I prayed, held the Bible in hand, lifted my heart up to God and asked Him to help me with this emotion i am feeling...I prayed for FAITH...I need it...

I was guided to Jude...And as i read, it's about having FAITH in God!!!
Doesnt this show the Power that God has over us and our circumstances?
We leave it in the hands of the Lord, and just pray that He guides us in our paths and walk, following His Light every step of the way...

'The Sin and Doom of Godless Men'. & ' A Call to Persevere'.

And to further deepn my faith or at least signs were "telling" me to have faith in these times of struggles...
What happened was...A real life story happened to my dad a a couple of days ago on his deep sea fishing trip...It was in the middle of the night, pitch darkness at sea....
The boat engine broke down in the middle of the ocean(A blessing it was actually), cos when they checked the engine, the also then FOUND OUT that propeller was about to drop off in to the ocean!! Usually there's this extra energy box somewhere, but it WAS ALSO DOWN!! It also didnt help when the radio was not working either! So weird isnt it? And besides all the mechanical breakdowns, NO ONE had big torch lights, or even mechanical box equipments on board to fix it!! My dad found a small torch light in his box...BUT....

Praise the Lord that my Dad & uncle Roy were there as mechanics and electricians...
They worked on it...Praise the Lord again that my dad knew about fixing the propeller, and he had his pliers (that could cut) and swiss army knife which had a screw driver attached, and he fixed it...The radio was also fixed, my dad was explaining what wires he and my uncle had to cut and mend wires to get the frequency to work and all..it took them about 30mins to an hour...
All my dad did was took out his Blessed rosery and pray! The cross somehow was detached! but he kept the faith and prayed! The few boat men also said muslim prayers to God... he recalled the past fishing trips, the waves were stormy and were as high as TWO metres in height!! can you imagine!! BUT somehow that night while they were waiting patiently and quietly (I believe all were praying in their hearts that night, no matter what race or religion they had..It was God they were all praying to..*smiles*) in the middle of the deep ocean, the waves were CALM! my dad described the clamness of the surface of the water....but the under currents under were strong, cos he said a 1kg weight was dragged in by the current as they put their baits out to fish, but the surface was CALM...THIS shows what the power of Faith in God can do in times of distress...that He WILL be there when we call on Him for help and His mercy! "When 2 or 3 pray in MY name" He is always there....
I thanked God for looking our for my father and friends on board...
What also happened back home was, usually things would be fine...but for some reason, my mom felt this urge to pray for my dad that night cos she felt the need to...She asked my brother to pray at the alter for his safety too...

A miracle and blessing in disguise....
This story was a sign to deepen my faith or to tell me that the power of 'Faith' can work wonders...
My mom shared a story about a pastor who was helping out during the Tsunami some years back, that, as the boats of orphans, surviviors and volunteers drove out to sea to the other side to be saved, the tsunamis were raging, and the pastor, commanded the tsunami to calm! I cant remeber what were his words, but the tsunami calmed for the orphans and Pastor to pass thru the other side to be saved... Amazing isnt it? well, i know all these happen for a reason....

As i reflect everyday....i come to see and piece things together and see the big picture (to a certain extent) of why things are happening to me...

I know God has "put" these current obstacles (Tests & Trials) in front of me to overcome for my good, that i cannot see today...I also know and see Mr. S.A Tan also has a part in this to tempt and sway me away from God or rip me of my faith without my knowledge too...

I have relfected and seen how the "Mr". has schemed in my (and the people around me) Life's choices unknowingly, causing much disruption, frustration, anger and pain (notice all are negative..who gives and feeds on freely on negativity or bad air?? who else? and these are caused with little or no knowledge of ours) in my past month only...i didnt see it as i was goin thru it...and i thought it was alright...(thats how 'it' "plays" with us and our conscience and conscious mind) I pray for Faith that i see through these tests and trials...

As I reflect well over the weeks and months and how things 'fall' into place...i see and understand God's plan for me (there's still some left unanswered..but i will be patient and perservere)..with close guidance from His Love for me and those around me... i understand why things are the way they are now...it may seem far fetched for some to come to this understanding, i just want to thank God cos im really blessed in this life i must say for God IS REAL and working in my Life!! and Im here to share (with God given gifts) His unconditional love with those around me in my life...

I just pray for strength, courage and wisdom with patience, and faith to guide me and my loved ones through this obstacles and trials in life....Never giving up but perservering...
As it is mentioned in the Bible today on 'Jude'....humble my heart so that i may love even greater...Oh Thank you Lord...thank you....i Love you...

Psalm 28

This morning as i woke, my thoughts were focused on my dearest...
Then I prayed...
My morning was filled with gladness somehow, like how its supposed to be....
My heart was glad....

When I came to work...I opened the Bible and these words spoke to me....

The amazing thing is that i needed it and it lifted my spirits!
I prayed with my heart.....Pray it too if you're goin thru some rough times, it WILL help like how it helps me...Praise the Lord...

Psalm 28
Of David.

1 To you I call, O Lord my Rock;
do not turn a deaf ear to me.
For if you remain silent,
I will be like those who have gone
down to the pit.

2 Hear my cry for mercy
as i call to you for help,
as i lift up my hands
toward you Most Holy Place.

3 Do not drag me away with the wicked,
with those who do evil,
who speak cordially with their
neighbours
but harbour malice in their hearts,

4 Repay them for their deeds
and for the evil work;
repay them for what their hands have
done
and bring back upon them what they
deserve.

5 Since they show no regard for the
works of the Lord,
and what his hands have done,
he will tear them down
and never build them up again.

6 Praise be to the Lord,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.

7 The Lord is my strength and my
shield;
my heart trusts in him, and i am
helped.
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song.

8 The Lord is the strength of his people,
a fortress of salvation for his
anoited one.

9 Save you people and bless your
inheritance;
be their shepherd and carry them
forever.

Remorse....Pray for me....

Sorry for the pain....from the depths of my heart....
I do feel remorseful and If i could help heal your pain i would...really sorry...i do understand...
I can only pray hard for me to get back on track and learn...Move forward...
I pray hearts will be "fixed".......

I leave it in your hands Lord...Help me thru this..Help us thru this...Help me see it thru your eyes...Let Your Will be done...give me courage to accept your Will Lord...
Give me the strength in my heart to carry on...I need a positive attitude...i need you Lord....I need you....

Pray for me....

Simple Purposeful Life...

Dedicated to those who "can't" see,
The Plan that God has "planned" life to be...

It's almost quite clear and easy to see,
Why we have to be the real we,
In a world to search for our own,
For we will reap what we have sown.

Simple needs leads a simple life,
Complications, they may lead to strife.
Though it may be, simple as it seem,
It is deeper than what we may deem.

A purpose be guided, with spiritual gifts,
Our cross, our burden, the 'weight' He lifts.
When darkened clouds trap us at bay,
Fear not, have courage, we shall pray.

Cast your fears and accept God's will,
Be guarded the journey will be uphill,
Perservere and follow when paths are right,
Reveals In time, the truth and Light.

Composed: Shereen Simon (Reenie.R)

Change of Plans...

Guided just last night to read..So i did...
After all that has been said, done and felt...

I believe now for I See, Now I Understand...I Trusted, somehow wavered alittle BUT i shall continue to Trust in the Lord...For He gives me strength, comfort, joy and peace in my heart...
Thank you Lord for Your constant guidance and Angles of Love...

Paul's Change of Plans.

2 Cor 1:12 - 14
Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, in the holiness and sincerity that are from God. We have done so not according to the worldly wisdom but according to God's grace. For we do not write you anything you cannot read of understand. And i hope that, as you have understood us in part, you will come to understand fully that you can boast to us just as we will boast of you in the day of the Lord Jesus.

2 Cor 2: 7 - 11

Forgiveness for the Sinner.
Now instead , you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to re-affirm your love for him. The reason i wrote you was to see if you would withstand the test and be obedient in everything. If you forgive anyone, i also forgive him. And what i have forgiven - if there was anything to forgive - I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not aware of his schemes.

Lord, please grant me the Strength i need thru these storms and conflicts, Courage to face evil, Wisdom to understand life that is to come in your time and help me to grow in Faith and Love.
I pray you give someone dear to me strength and courage too. Thank you for the pain and suffering of my heart and thank you for the love you've given me from my loved one's heart to understand how much I love and am loved...I need faith in us too Lord...Thank you for your constant Love, grace and guidance in my heart...Glory Be & Praise the Lord...

Light a Candle..Reflect...

Sometimes we need others to help us in ways we cannot see when we're so blinded by our own emotions...Not only me...Its you guys out there too!!
(Well, least those of you who can relate to it ...)
BUT A WORD OF CAUTION...read, understand and make a good judgement of choice if its for you!!!

When we need HELP! All we need to do is ask...
"Ask and you shall receive"

Why so difficult to ask? Have you ever wondered and asked yourself why it is difficult to ask for help??
Well, i know the answer...have a good reflective time to answer that question...
In the mean time...Just something to share...

Blogger:
i reckon one of the reasons why we blog is to get a voice for our hearts.. we so often feel that just by telling someone what's in our mind is a way of expressing how we really feel within the heart.. this aint true.. how the heart feels is a very private space which often left unexplored.. it is only during moments when we're all alone that the voices of the heart would feel 'safe' to come out and be heard.. guess thats the very reason why some individuals who could not handle the demands of their emotions, ended up having 'imaginary friends' whom they could talk to.. for us who were emotionally caught up, thats what blogging is about.. to have an outlet where our hearts could voice out.. at the end of the day, it doesnt matter if we would eventually be heard by 'that' someone or any others.. guess all it matters is being true to ourselves and how we really feel emotionally..
12 December, 2005 21:02

Blogger said...
Why we wanted to blog at the first place. Is it because we are lonely and we just can't find anyone who could lend a listening ear to us or no one can truely understand us so we must write and let them know what we truely wanted. There're many reasons actually too much as different ppl have different reasons so we can't really predict or guess.Some maybe having problems in family, love, work and so on and they're too shy or because of pride or any other reasons, so they do not want to seek help from their close ones or friends. So they try to share their problems in a blog with a secret identity.And they might get some useful comments from their unknown or known friends.Life won't never be complicated if we know where we wanted to go or what we desire the most. Sometimes we might get lost but try to look back and search for problems that had led to this, maybe you can find a solution. Trust in yourself I'm sure you can work it out...=)

Heros...

Who are our heros in life?? Think about 5 of them and list em down...
Explain why they are our heros...You can share your thoughts to my email.. would love to hear from you...

Misunderstood..One Sided Story of Perception

Just wanted to say that things have been going rough...That's life isnt it?

Have i not mentioned that PRIDE IS THE ROOT TO ALL OUR UNHAPPINESS AND FRUSTRATIONS???
Well, i want to say is clear again...but im not saying that i am not...I recognise that i am cos im only human, and at least i acknowledge my weakness....for years now, i still am struggling with it...

People somehow loves others more when they see them weak...?? well, it seems to be pretty apparent...at least i have heard or read it...

Will just put it as I know certain things...
Misunderstood because of others insecurities...thats life, tolerate and accept...where's the line drawn?
I love reading books to do with psychology and maybe socialogy or some anthropology on human behaviour...well, i know there is a reason for this interest...Its for my purpose in life... I see it more clearly now....i just needed to be guided and follow my heart and think more about life's "signs"....

Anyways, i was getting to this book, i got it only cos my heart said, get it, and whats a blessing was that it popped out of nowhere and struck me somehow...i just opened and flipped to a chapter, and it stared back at me...immediately, the chapter caught my heart and interest...
i was guided to read just that chapter first last week cos it was something that needed some attention...then i didnt read it till just today...

anyways, about misunderstood...well, a real blessing happened last night...it didnt go really as planned cos i think i missed out one major detail planned...i asked a little too late...and well, i realised i did only this morning...i was pretty much a zombie for the whole morn...people were asking...one that hit me was a science lab tech, we crossed paths and we exchanged our usualy hi's, but today he stopped and asked if i was ok, and he said im not myself (imagine, someone i dont even meet often, just hi's and bye's telling me that??) he said that im usually very smiley and bubbly in school, and if everything was ok, he was being a gentleman...so i just gave that i was not feeling well, which is true to some extent...little did he know that my heart was torn and depressed...it made me smile today...that was the only thing that made me smile...my students made me smile too...i thank God for them...really..they do fill my life with Love....not because they listen to what i say, but because they are real, they teach me, help me grow help me learn and unlearn...thats why i Love...

I can see that a majority against myself isnt goin to help me here, cos they have their perceptions and believe in it, pardon me and im not saying its wrong, but i see it clearly from the outside and know whats happening, and well, who doenst want the best for their loved ones? sometimes that love blinds and irrational view or principles are a 'Must' for them...

Its a challenging choice that im taking here, guided and somehow blinded...you may not fully understand what i mean cos you wont until you know what im implying here...anyways, ....

Im tired...so tired..my hearts tired, my mind' tired...Lord, I need strength to get thru this...you know me, if i can take it, give me strength, if i cant, then take it away and give me the courage to make that choice and strong to face that choice...

Im wavering in and out of this...to carry on cos its my life and path ive chosen, or to leave and fulfil my other needs to help others instead...maybe less emotionally tiring maybe not....
im just so bummed now..

I just want to leave with this...Someone said, if you know the persons character is like so, the accomodate and give and do all that i can... selfish? not selfish?
I know its from the same perception and one perception...self...though thinking about others but more for self...hard to understand cos im not stating the big picture here...

Like a plant...its got roots(values), how deep it goes, depends...then its got the main stem(perception from root values), which branches out to smaller stems(another perception similiar from the root values, just smaller), then maybe more small stems from this smaller stems (still from the same stem isnt it?means same values) then comes the fruit or flowers(outcomes & consequences of the perceptions stemmed from the same perception)

My point here is that it does not matter how this 'PLant' Sees things, even if its from so called "another" perspective, its still stems from the same stem same values same perspective! and this isnt the big picture or taking a step back...it is really hard or almost impossible to say that we can see the whole picture and say its from an outsiders perception...even if we do see the whole picture, our perception usually may still go with the value or perception that we originally have...so no matter how we say we can give a third perspective, honestly, we cant or dont!!
we(you) will always "side" the perspective or value of ours because its from the root and stem of where its from!!....Only someone from the outside can see what's goin on, and whats really happening... thats why we need friends or other people other than our members to be forthright in setting things into place...to give us maybe a totally different perspective, other alternative ways of seeing things... i may not get my point thru clearly..but i will try again...Think about it, if i am able to see things this way, it explains how clearly and self-ware the thoughts are, it surely means something, that i do see things for what it is or they are...just that others may not be aware that it also viewed from this angle..the big picture angle...for you to make sense of it...
Apply it in families, it could give a clearer picture of what i mean too...we are what our families "feed" us...sometimes unrealised that we are groomed by this culture that is thru unconscious or unknowing influence....

Help me Lord....Help me...Save me....

Lost..

Im so lost...help me....

Save me...

Thanks and Praise...

I have so many people to appreciate and give my love to...

God,

My family,

My partner & Friends

Aquaintences,

Strangers and passer bys (wonder why? well, cos sometimes, when we "fall" in an unknown place, someone we dont know comes to our aid...)

No one was ever made to be lonely or strangers, we choose to be (Deep meaning, not as straight forward as we might see it...we are all meant to be friends in this life...

A friend asked me once when i was about 21/22 years, what is life to you?

I was in the midst of figuring out myself too, so i thought about it...

I came to this statement: "Life is a contradiction"

Haha..how true isnt it? its just how we see it....
One example: "When we love someone, hold on dearly to them and not let them go (vs) When you love someone, if they choose to leave, let them go, for what's meant to be will come back to you..." something along this line la...haha.. :)

There's prolly a whole lot more contradictions we can all come up with...
Im just thankful for all the contradictions that make up my life, the good and no-so-good, the ups and downs, the lefts the rights, the rights the wrongs...these contradictions help me learn and grow and mature...i believe we have to strike a balance in life, and so long as we live by God's way of life...we live life...be it high or low, light or dark, good or bad, i still give thanks and praise cos its acceptance of the way of life...not the way of the world we live in...its really very different...
if we live in the way of the world, we get depressed (weird how we/some people find joy it this somehow..weird is the word!) and soon fall into captivity...when we follow and live the way of life, we find peace, joy and love.....

So i see it good, and believe its good for our growth, for me to humble myself as we learn from one another....Love grows...