Moral Values..

well...ive been doin some reading on and values...and well been in some situations that put me in confusion and contradiction and so not knowing what to do.. and i realize that i need to reflect on what my values in life are...there are so many values in life...honestly, respect, integrity,

It will definately make me think about certain things in life...and well decisions...

Our values: beliefs or attitudes about what is good, right, desirable, worthwhile, etc.

Our Value system: the ways you organize, rank, prioritize and make decisions based on your values - They are your beliefs about what is important in life.

Some values refer to how one should act, some other values refer to what one wants to accomplish or obtain in life like to want a lot of money, security, fame, health, salvation, wisdom

**What i mention here would be my opinions and the way i value life, and not necessarily the way others and you see it, so its up to you how you should interpret these values as well...so if you decide and agree to what i am expressing, then by all means you may follow, HOWEVER, there will be changes in values as we grow in life and experiences...so don't 'blame' or 'whine' or get depressed..instead, embrace, mature and grow with the change...

Just to give an introduction and a rough idea....
Values are general beliefs or attitudes about something we desire or like Our values very often underlie our moral rules. (our culture, religion, social mores or politics affect what values we value in life...so our up bringing and experiences help us "get" our values in place)
When our beliefs or attitude changes, our values change with us...should be for the better...

We can never "have it all" or "be all things"....cos sometimes values contradict one another...

1. There is a difference between moral values, moral rules and ethical principles...sounds confusing??
2. Values affect how we see and deem certain acts that are morally upright...Priorities of values do reflect our actions in life...consciously or sub-consciously.

Some people say or at least ive heard: "knowledge is power" is that really? what is your stand? how do you value this statement? there can be many who agree and disagree... I agree to a certain extent when knowledge can help the less fortunate, the poor, and save lives, but it comes to a point when too much knowledge is "bad" for us, because it makes us greedy, makes us proud, it makes life too complicated and then I'd say, "Too much knowledge kills the fun and and the child in us", "Too much knowledge makes us criminals at times...or get us in to trouble.." well...

Its just like "independence"...yes, we have to be independent in life...we need to learn to be independent to survive and care for ourselves and the people around us...but too much independence leads to individuality, selfishness, takes away understanding and empathy - insensitivity. And i for one definately say we need to be dependent on others so we are able to give opportunity for others to love us and to feel appreciated, that they are needed and they inturn feel loved and desired...get my drift? There has to always be a balance...thats when values play a major role...right now, even as i share my thoughts and opinions, im sure they will contradict...and i guess i will re-evaluate my values and reflect on them again thru time...

I value independence and the same time value being cared for (well, least thats a small part of my values) and it would show...and it would contradict life and my own values... well, then you might think, if we let these contradict life, we dont get as far or do as we like...i guess thats probably the whole point of it...we are in control to a certain extent..till values contradict and then we make our choices (the right ones that are "morally right")...we have control...then what? life goes on...I'd like to think, God gives us the freedom to choose, to see what kind of character we choose to build for ourselves...to listen to the inner voice...to do good...to be like Him and His son Jesus. We are given a choice to choose bewteen right and wrong, good and bad, sane or insane, justifiable and non-justifiable or what else have you...like steal or not to steal, BUT, look here, sometimes both choices can be justifiable, both are morally good values, so we're put in a dilemma...which Uni do i wanna go? then you come up with a list of whys and why nots? another example, to love or not to love? to choose to be in a relationship or not depends very much on what i value in life, they can be contradictory so i end up having to make a tough choice..like...OK, here was a dilemma that i was in and ive realized and made a choice because of my priority of values, to be in a relationship or not? to try or not to try...
"I had feelings and enjoyed the company of this friend very much, it was mutual, but i held back, i was confused at why...i guess my values were conflicted, so i was uncertain about what i believed in or how i should rank my values. so i had to make a choice...i thought and reflected for quite a number of years, off and on...then i made a decision. We didnt get into a relationship...why? i valued "long term commitments and future or compatibilty in life", and also valuing "living in the moment", it was already contradictory...if i know that it wouldnt work cos of certain life circumstances, i shouldnt/wouldnt start or try cos (putting it in a harsh way) its "doomed to fail" hahaha...it isnt funny la...anyways... so valuing 'long term commitments', as my core values, as compared to 'living in the mmt', giving it a lower priority value, Commitment rules!! haha...get it? but sometimes, living in the mmt could be given more priority when it comes to different circumstance, and so it is chosen over something else.. like maybe, you're given an opportunity to...nvm...enuf of my sharing... probably bored of it..ahahah

Oh, im sure sanity and stupidity also does play a part...this is getting tiring and draining...

Well, talking about contradiction, i guess it aint gonna be easy for me cos i am confused and stumped sometimes at what i say, why and how i react to certain things and people....
(i will share this personal confusion some other time when i have more time to reflect...)

To sum things up...
Even though people regularly mix up values, moral rules and ethical principles, we need to know the difference.
Being a moral person is more than following accepted codes of conduct, whether business, religious, political, or simply holding a belief in the importance of ethics. It requires our knowing how to make good moral decisions by using ethical standards and critical thinking and to be sensitive to the implications of our decisions. The study of ethics requires the ability to do in-depth critical thinking, the ability to evaluate ambiguous and incomplete information, and to have sufficient intellectual skills to implement our moral decisions. Morality has a price and sometimes we must choose between what we want to be and what we want or desire.
Very often what we have the right to do is not identical with what the right thing to do is. There is not one single decision making procedure which works. All we can do is offer strategy or a methodology which can help guide us.

I might share a story or two that im confused about soon.. when i have more time and when i feel like it...so gtg now...God Bless and Guide us...Guide me and help me get my answers...

Reflections on Love and Loss

Im back again...its the exams...so invigilation is ON!! haha.. i guess its something that i look forward to, i think i speak for many friends/colleagues as well..haha...but marking comes soon after...but its still good.. less stress...less preparations...

i receieved a few mails, calls and sms...and msn msging...and somehow it makes me feel so confused and sometimes grounded...i guess when it comes to love, its sometimes unexpectable...
somehow, although i wasnt expecting anything, i more or less guessed...well...hard to explain so i wont try to..its just what i feel...

i know i got over my first love and i accepted my life the way it was..and i finally moved on...i was happier than ever, i guess we really know when we are over something or some loss when we have grieved enough.. but hey, when do we know if we have grieved enuf? or when do we know if we are really over someone? well, let me put it this way, the way i saw and reflect on mine... just sharing to see if you might be able to relate to you and help u along...

It was first an initial numbing, what i was feeling when the news came, i didnt feel anything, i was strong...more of mentally... it only hit me after a while, when i was alone and it became empty...my heart became empty....and well, this numbness was gone...i was angry, frustrated (but i wasnt the kind who flustered up or screamed my head off...i was calm and strong..haha) asked why, looked for answers that weren't apparent, i blamed myself..if i had done this and that etc...i hurt, then after a while the anger dissipitated and turned into a need for love, for someone to touch and hold me..to caress me...to make me feel that im needed...to make things seem alright.. i needed assurance...i cried buckets...i wished my tears could wash away my hurt and bring back the smiles and laughter we had...i talked to friends who were there for me...both negative and positive aspects of the relationships...well.. soon i got better...it took me about a year or more...can u see how it is so? like to sum up...its was numb initially, occasionally followed by anger, then a period of sadness, distress and yearning, before the final phase of acceptance is reached...i realised and finally accepted my emotions thru spiritual acceptance and humble realisation and of course the events that my family went thru and made us realise this was God himself, He showed us the way...i believed and well, i grew in faith...it seems short and simple but trust me, there's more to this..haha.. too long to explain..

anyways, i was at Love..yeah...(think i'll cont another time..got work to do..) im back after a day...well, Love is something that is felt by the heart, just by the heart...sometimes the mind says the other but the heart feels the opposite? and vice versa? think i mentioned it somewhere in my previous blog entry...anyways, i believe its when our hearts tell us something that sometimes we dun want to believe it due to certain circumstances and priority in life (including pride) Love is when we look beyond faults, we know they have their faults but still wanna be with them.. I asked a close friend of mine what he thinks of love..he shared this with me: "love is, when it hurts!", "when it hurts u like crazy, but u still cant help but wanna be there", "when u see e faults... but still try to come to terms to accept them", "is ponderin abt e future w tt person", "not knowin when to give up soemtimes..." "wat e heart wants...", "tts all tt happens inside"... well, we can't and shouldnt link all these feelings and emotions back to love...other factors play a part too..cos sometimes its not! thats another emotion that we want it to be LOVE (from the head, tell the heart) cos we all want and need love and sometimes, its just lonliness or emptiness talking and eating u up inside... its up to you to decide and be dicerning when it comes to your heart and a big decision...when u feel empty.. pray to God to fill up that heart with love...you feel at peace and alot better.. your empty heart is probably just alone..not lonely... well there is a difference between lonely and alone...that shall be another entry....

anyways, after all that sharing...ive accepted and i have grieved enuf, and you know the crazy thing? as soon as i get out of it..it comes back again...how crazy can that be? its like this time, its a different kinda numb..its shock and somehow in some way hard to believe and dun take it seriously...telling me to put my heart on the line again and let it get hurt? honestly, i somehow do, cos well, i know what ive been thru and stuff...will see...its hard...im afraid, i not the one to get hurt..but the opposite... well, I pray that God guides me to see it thru his eyes and show me what i should do and follow my heart and mind...Thank you Lord...
well, im tired...gtg bed...write more soon...ta-ta...hope i didnt go off track...i think i did but doesnt matter....bye!!