Out bursts!!!

This is probably just an out burst of emotions stroed up inside that has been raging in turmoil....
SO please forgive me....
Thou the 1 week of holidays was a break from the usual terror....i feel that it isnt enuf...
im struggling so much, i havent done work, cos i just don feel like doin anything..
ive lost my fire for doing what i need to do and right now, im just feeling lost, impatient, irritated, enraged, pissed of and drained by what has been happening the past months since this year started...ARGH!!!!
what the sheesh man....there are som may rich people in the country and they are living such a good life and enjoying it..not that im saying they are happy...but its just the dealing with a bunch of terrors can be so straining on my heart and mind that it just breaks down..im soon goin to break down!!!

Im screaming inside, im crying inside,
Someone please help me, cos im drowning
And im getting all tired...
Tired of all the running,
Tired of all the talking,
The sharings, the reasoning,
so many things to do, with so little time,
Is it what im supposed to do?
is this what i chose to do?
Was this what i get myself into?
Is the works of "hungry" men, competiting to rise to the top,
and choking on every penny that we have to scrimp, thats worth nothing at times...
Work so hard to get what we get, and status and paper is ...

Right now, i feel better, not cos im writing, but just because someone's taken it off my mind... i'll think about it tmrw... :)
For now, i'll continue my chat.....good night sweeties....

A New....

I know somewhere in my previous blog, i mentioned id delete some of my posts that have little or no more significance in my life... well. guess what? i just did...i wish i could've found an easier way of deleting them in a bunch, but i decided to scroll thru some and delete those insignificant...
I wanna start again and keep reflecting as i did previously, have just been so busy that i seldom have time to blog...anyways, no one reads my blog religously thou, so it doesnt matter...

Well, those that are left behind does still mean something to me...

I wanna try and be strong and let my heart feel again...sometimes we know in our hearts, that small voice or higher voice in us that i'd like to call a thought and conversation with God..my intuition...

Anyways, i wanna leave fear behind and live life as it is...im still trying to understand life and love and how not to fear it but live it, so that i can learn thru joy and even hurts....not to fear being hurt or bein imperfect in others eyes...God, help me thru this and help me see the light in life....

Long while....

SO many things have happened for the past months since i last wrote here...
UPs and downs.... draining of energy, up-lifing of spirits....Life...Realizations...Clarity...Thoughts.. Wisdom...God...Love...

The heart says one thing and we do the opposite...how hard is it for us to be?
The mind thinks logically and we go against it...how complicated is it for us to see?
The body moves and follows both mind and heart...it feels joy and pains in choices we make...
The soul is the key to true happiness...
When we get to the point of realizing our purpose of body and our souls, then in Life, we find meaning....

Well, thats how a minute fraction of my life is...till then..God bless and guide all of us to His santuary...I pray for love in my heart....