In the midst of finding myself....

Its time again to do some soul searching...Sometimes some people come along in my life and stir it up.. im not sure if they are stirring it up cos they have been running their life in a 'wrong' or different manner of values...or am i the one who has got the 'wrong' or different values...

Sometimes i dont even know what to think of how my life has been for the past year and months and the months to come...

The past 11 months with my love has been a roller coaster ride...in the beginning, it was all good.. until the 4th month or so...or until we decided to be engaged... somehow or rather things changed...i guess we were moving too fast for us to catch up with ourselves...what happened? What was the cause of it?

He needs assurance that i will be there for him in the lowest of the lows, especially financially.

I need assurance that he will be there for me in my lowest times. I need to know that he will always be there for me no matter what.

I need an avenue where i can be free, free to be me...
My mind is so tired...tired of keeping up....
Should I be with someonw who says, I've got to catch up...or someone who will walk beside me...I want someone who will walk beside me. To walk this road together...if you walk behind, good, you can catch me when i fall, but may not see where im going. if you walk infront of me, you will lead me, but when you move on faster than i do, you leave me behind...is that was love does?

I'm trying to walk beside you, so that we can catch each other when we fall, and guide each other along when we lead. Isnt this the way to go? If you think leaving me behind to catch up and think you're ahead, what good does that do for us? what are you trying to prove?

What are you trying to prove for doing what you do? to show that you are higher than i am? what good does that do for us? for you? for me?
For you,i can readily say its for your ego, ur achievement. For me, it could be a goal to strive for or demoralised achievement.

i want someone i can smile and laugh with, to joke with, to be best friends with, who would love me the way i am. To grow with me. To be there for me. To cry with me.

It's all about me isnt it?
Who am i? Who is shereen simon? Who is she? What is she made of? Where is she going?

I feel you choose a life partner only based on what i can do for you. What kind of mother i will be. I dont feel that you choose one based on how you feel.