Learning...

Im in school now....was supposed to be in at 8am..guess what?? hahaha... i came in at 915...hahaha..not that i was late or anything...well, sorta in a way but well...will be staying till 6pm till friday anyways.. man..what kinda holiday is this?? hahahaa... a teacher's holiday that is....well, i was having this conversation with a couple of friends last weekend...and we talked about holidays..it was a very common topic asked...well, i shared we get NO leave for the year...and our leave is our holiday period..im not complaining..just so ya'll know... yeah... so which also means that we cna only go for breaks at the end of the year and not inbetween...guess its got pros and cons yeah... every job has them...yeah, so sometimes some of my friends wanna go for a holiday say on any other month besides june and dec, well they've gotta go without me and me without them... so sad right? hehe... :) so yeah...kinda difficult to get friends to travel with me on the days that im available..hehe.. well, take it as blessing that we're not supposed to travel together then.. :)
Got a group of friends travelling in july...i do sorta wanna go, but i know i cant...and somehow at the same time, guess i want them to enjoy without me kinda feeling..thou i must admit, i will be worried bout certain stuff...i pray really hard that they stay away from stuff... :)

alright...i was told to use my heart for almost everything except for my work related matters....
somehow, im still confused how to use my heart and head...i know, i should be able to differentiate between them...but i guess somehow when i was growing up...the pain, confusion, suppression, anger, sadness and all sorta mixed it all up for me...turning cold and learned to take my emotions and freeze them so they arent felt by the heart no more...its been deforsting since thou...but somehow, things are just sorta messed and and mixed up...thus, some confusion...needs some revisting and shuffling the puzzle back again...and so, though years have passed by...this block of frozen heart is slowly defrosting and learning with God's guidance and grace, so that i learn, feel and ultimately KNOW what my heart feels and says, know when my mind is being 'used'...its simple yet somehow complicated...i was guided by the light that our heart sometimes tell our minds what to do..and so, we are following our hearts....but on some occasions...our minds just tell us what to do...and it isnt from it heart...i guess in time as im being guided, i will soon understand and learn to tell and feel where thoughts and feelings are coming from cos i know im guided by the Lord, cos i ask and wanna learn...and He knows i need His guidance, and so He says...For now, i will be patient cos i know God is with me and helping me mature with wisdom and Love...for my good...

I guess ive learned so much over the past years, since 2005 end infact...im thankful for all the life lessons learned...til then....Love you all...