*Abouts*

Sometimes, i feel like i dont have to write in my blog cos i feel somehow 'satisfied' or 'contented' or that my feelings are heard...so i need not pen it down...hhmm...but well, i guess i when i feel like writing, my mind just opens and my words flow like a meandering river down a gentle sloping mountain....oooh... love geography...hahaha..
anyways, just wanna share my thoughts...not exactly sure what t title this blog, so shall wait...you know, life's kinda like that... sometimes, we get a head start cos we know the beginning...then slowly achieve things that comes along the way...say for example, writing a compo...we know the title...and we think, and we write about it and stuff...however, i believe life sometimes throw us in the middle of no where, not being able to know where to start, and we just have to start somewhere, in the process we're not sure of what is the reason why we have to go thru an experience we may not understand prior or during...but when we have overcome the obstacle, we then can place the 'title' for that exeprience...haha.. not really sure if my thoughts are flowing comprehensively....but hey, doesnt matter to me...hehaha...

Anyways, i know that i am growing stronger in faith, and in love...and i know it will be good for me....i pray it wont bring along much difficulty in having some people to understand my actions and thoughts...which is a worry, but i guess i shouldnt worry yeah.. leave it in the hands of the Lord... just love that song!! shared alttle with a dear of mine...*winks* id love to share more in time...maybe i'll just share alittle here...hahaha...
"Do not worry over what to eat, what to wear, or put upon your feett.
Trust and pray go do your best today, and leave it in the hands of the Lord, leave it in the hands of the Lord."
Its a really catchy tune...*bouncy bouncy*

alright...i just had a kung bak pau...loved it! i just bought some instant noodles too!! man.. so unhealthy..hahaha...probably gonna have some later... :) new flavours, new brands...hope it taste good... i know it isnt that healthy...its got preservatives and all...man...but i guess once in a while..a blue moon...ahha..havnt eaten instant noodles for ages man...think its a year or so maybe? hahaa...

Ok, lets talk about something else....my purpose in life and my goals....well, wont share much, just the surface, my aspiration, im working towards that, i pray i make more time for it...and well, i do see some progress and yeah, a friend has asked me to try out..and yeah, id love to!! hahaha... first hand experience always comes in handy!! im really excited about it, however, i know i need to practice alot before, though this friend says 'be easy'...but im not..haha..im a perfectionist...to a certain extent...i like to do something well...

Love....im kinda pondering here....not exactly sure why thou...*in thought*
My last post, i shared about warmth and comfort that was familiar...i believe im still feeling it....
somehow somewhere, there's this little dot of emptiness...something that im not getting out of this warmth...im not sure what, but hey, i know that im more comfortable and at ease and i feel it too....i guess it may not be about history now, ok, maybe a tad bit...but i think the more i think about the others that are related, i start to worry and fear if its right...so many questions left unanswered...leave it in the Lords hands to put my heart at ease...
I think what im trying to say here is family traditions...i know i cant say whats right or wrong or better etc...i see it as different ways of life and its a matter of getting used to or if we cant get used to it...somethings got to give...and well, change has to to take place and for change to sorta take place, a stand has to be made and of course it comes with courage and faith that things will work out pleasantly...*i pray* in every family, theres always this "DARK SECRET" that outsiders may not know, even relatives for that matter, cos well, what happens in a family, it stays in the family...even within our immediate family, we have our own dark secrets.. anyways, the point im driving at is...these secrets will soon surface...somehow, someday...and well, ive learned that the hard way...and well, since then, ive been more open to show my 'wild' side to my family, and of course, it takes the rest to understand and be open about such things, like my family...im more of the quiet one...dont show my true passion about the burning 'life' that is readily wants to burst out and just be crazy....so that i dont have to keep that suppressed emotion or burning desire to act on it...cos i feel so much happier when i do, and i need not hide my true self..course there are still somethings i hide...but what im trying to put across is "living" 2 lives or split personality isnt doin us much good...i can empathise with friends who are 'living' it...my best friend was..and still is is guess, but now she has someone she can live it with...
and parents dont really know about it...i guess somethings arent meant to be said ?? or known to someothers?? who knows really??? its all about choices yeah? I guess its not wrong to keep it from parents, for some strong reason...and also not wrong to tell em about the 'secret'...though it may not be very well recieved from the other end, but hey, it will work out in time cos its the truth..and the truth hurts..hurts bad...but i guess in time will see....
i know that i dont want to suppress who i really am (thou i might 'hide' some of it..haha) doesnt mean that cos some people dont approve of me or my actions or words, that i will not be myself... of course with due respect, i believe it was from my past experience that led me to these thoughts of being more open and myself, so that they really do know who i am, or dealing with, and guess its about acceptance and being receptive on the other end.....culture and traditions sometimes do curb 'Love' in this sense...not that its wrong, just if we break down the walls, take away pride and just love as love should be, it would not be that hard to do and see....

On Saturday, i'll be heading off to Sibu Island with my dear colleagues (my department) to a kelong out at sea!! so exciting...and i pray that itd be special and a time for bonding and being myself with my colleagues..get to know them better...
and we gonna FISH!!! hahahaa... think i'll get my colleague to help me bring a rod..id bring a reel...haha..and some hooks ...aiyah..fishing gear..ask my daddy!! hahaha...he knows best!!
I wanna catch a fish!! maybe cook it for dinner or something!! hahahaha....
that reminds me...need to change RM!! :) i cant wait to take photos!!! ahhahaha... :)
Alright... shared enough..time for me to prepare my work for later...till then...*muacks*