Blinded....

Sometimes we feel cos our hearts tells us to...it somehow blinds us from seeing things and life logically and clearly, we continue to be blinded and stubborn...knowing that it could or would happen sooner or later but still holding on and be so adamant about certain views and opinions...until something or someone hits us right in the face when we least expect it, and we still dont know what hit us... realization takes place a few moments later but by that time...the crucial time for our reaction is over...we realize certain things too late.. is that how we are supposed to be most of the times anyways? should we be blinded by ourselves, by our hearts so that we learn life's lessons? maybe its not only the hearts that blinds us, the Sins and people manipulating our lives directly and indirectly, making it seem like its all real and it's what is really happening.. are we kiddin ourselves and still being true to ourselves?

I agree that, Yes, sometimes facing the truth really hurts and all and its one of the toughest and painful emotions in our lives that we have to go thru..physical pain as well...but is it really worth goin thru the pain not knowing how long we will be in the rut for? Honestly, the faith i have in myself or even God is still weak...its glows then dims...sometimes flickering in the dark just awaiting the time when still air is present...telling the winds to go and be calm...do we have to tell our minds, saying, "Hey, its time to get out of feeling like shit" and we pick ourselves up an move on?? is it that easy? well, it isnt and wasnt...maybe it is? I would say id probably felt like that when My First Love was gone...my heart was so heavy that it sank so deep it hurt so bad, that my tears just flowed freely like a little stream flowing from a steep mountain...rapids it fell, that eroded my heart of so many wonderful memories...making potholes and small rough edges that kept dark and deep feelings...and seen that took so long to reach the delta where we find joy and freedom and peace at the end of it all...
ok, im goin off point now...but well, i think thinking "geograpical relationships" would make my geog teacher real proud for at least applying the "whats-left-of" knowledge to express the meandering of my life at some point....hahaha...didnt do as well as i expected for my geog Os...dropped from an A2 to a B4!! man, that sucks..haha.. well, sometimes life has to suck once in a while so that we appreciate the many beautiful things in life that God has given us...

Following the previous blog of caring courageously, i guess ive learned and still learning that giving hurts as much as not giving, cos when we give with our hearts, we are in the position to be hurt and if we dont give, our hearts hurt the same, maybe bitterness hurts it more, but lessens the pain of knowing what we don't want to face...the only difference is that when we give and hurt, it means just so much cos our hearts do feel lighter and less bitter about something..and along with it comes honesty...being honest and vulnerable to how we feel about people and things in life does make me feel more at peace with myself and knowing that, well at least the other person knows that i feel the way i feel or feel the same way that i do...
its like fear and pride work antagonistically..does it? not contradictory as do pride and humility, but fear of getting hurt by being vulnerable vs pride of getting hurt by being humiliated...

yeah, at times like i said, we get blinded and so stuck in closing our hearts and caring about how we feel, that our pride and even our trust in ourselves in others, have been lost, the lost of the human touch and heart, what i call Love...
Love is Blind...is it really? Does Love open doors when its really blind? and steers us toward greater Love? or is it just what someone had made it up, that make us believe that love is blind...so do we think for ourselves and are we really blinded by our love or is it just something that makes us feel blinded when we are actually capable of not being blinded...not only am i referring to love-relationships but general capability of humanly Love....