Life and God

I'm back again...been sometime since i wrote...not sure what to write..i know the prev blog was WAY TOO LONG..hahaha...this one might be too thou..haha...anyways,might delete it someday when they dun have any more significance to me...
now...just that there are issues and thoughts running thru my mind...spiritually, mentally...sometimes i dont know what to think of it...
Just recently, my family and I have been experiencing some encounters that made us realize and want to work towards a more fulfilling life...to prepare us for what is to come in the near future...like in one of the sunday masses i attended about 2 weeks ago, the preist said, we have to always be prepared so that we will be ready for what is ahead of us..it got me thinking as in we need to be prepared in a sense that we should also have foresight...to be prepared for what is to come...and not wait till the last minute and realize that we should've done it much earlier...to know that there is a greater good...we should not just sit and wait for things to get better, we should do something about it, not in the sense of making extra money and being successful...but more to improve our relationships with our loved ones, to bring us closer in stead of further, doesnt mean physically closer, i guess emotionally and spiritually closer as a family...cos its happiness we gain for the long term...the intangible satisfaction and appreciation in life...nothing else is as important as being able to be open and share our deepest thoughts..and let go of certain events that have happened in our lives be it from childhood, passing of a loved one or even falling out of love...it might sound very cliche, but when we let go of these things or pain, we then leave it as our past, we not only feel alot better or move on with our lives but more importantly, we come a step closer to GOD and His son Jesus...

I didnt know alot about christ and all but thru the recent experiences, alot of stuff was realised and it made sense...thou its something that most of us cant see, hear or feel, its something that we have to make a choice in as an individual or as a family...there are personal experiences that i believe is real, and has had me started in letting go and having more faith in GOD...sometimes we blame God for things that happen in our lives...we say he isnt there for us when we're in our lowest...he doesnt listen to our prayers etc...so there's no God...but God is TESTING us...Satan is playing with us...with our heart and mind...sometimes, its our hearts that tell our minds to think in a certain way then our minds tell us what to do, "politically" or in the way of good and evil...we are on this earth for a temporary time, we do not have anything that belongs to us...God can lend it to us for a while, from money to sunshine, to love to diseases...so we should not blame him for what happens to us...if he can give something to us, he can take it back when he thinks we've passed the tests...im beginning to understand and heed what i should do and why we are on earth for...he knows our strenghts and weaknesses...He tests our faith, during our weakest moments...
there are still answers i seek....

We need to let go of our possessions(be it materials, feelings, wants) and EGO...we need to put the 'You' infront of the 'I'.. im not saying its easy, im still learning and trying...dont you realise that these days, that's what's happening around the world in the last 5 years, is getting from bad to worse?? that's what is said...theres more to say but i'll leave it here...and have u realised that everyone or the majority says.. "I WANT" or "I NEED to do what I want", its the 'I' that comes first...when it shouldn't be the case all the time...even if we do things for others, we should not EXPECT anything in return...then your "deed" has already lost its meaning and purpose...you should do things that comes from the heart...everyone is guilty of this, even me...i do sometimes expect certain things, eg, my job..i mean most of the time,honestly, i do things for people willingly from the heart cos i want to do it..i dont hesitate, so that they are happy, and i do not expect anything in return...im not perfect...I am also guilty of it too...sometimes i do expect some kind of return in job wise, maybe, when i do a better job at something and when i plan or initiate certain events in school, i expect to have a better "work review" or "grade" so that i reap better rewards in future...its something that i HAVE to do..its a requirement in my job scope..I believe its a system that we have been brought up in...it contradicts life...just remember that OUR LIFESTYLE SHOULD NEVER BE OUR JOBS!! or should i say OUR JOBS SHOULD NOT BE OUR LIFESTYLE.... there's a fine line between them..sometimes its inevitable...i can say that for sure...(i dont think im putting down any systems here or saying anything illegal) i guess so long as we know that we have done wrong or sinned, and we repent and ask for forgiveness (not all the time thou) and not to repeat it again...it will be heard by god...its hard to explain...hhmm...alot to share...another time i suppose..

For those who know me well, would be thinking, when did i become so spiritually involved...you know, last sunday when I attended mass, it was one of the very first times that i felt myself being there to really praise and be with god...and i teared...i held back thou'..the changes in me is something good, i feel...its all the experiences that my family and I have been going thru..still am...that has begun to change myself as a person and my outlook in life...
anyways, if you have any problems or issues that are hard to let go, try your best to do so...your heart will then be filled with love and happiness...it is hard...but God will be there to guide you...let not temptations bring you astray from the holy light...for you are the one who chooses the path you take...temptations can come in any form and talk you into falling into the trap.. but be strong... follow the light...you will be alright...