Hate this Life.. Hate me....I want to Die..just leave me alone....

Freaking angry!!
What is wrong with me???
Why cant you just leave me alone?
why cant i just understand myself?
why cant i just find myself???
why cant i just leave and let go everything?
What is is that im holding on to?
What is so wrong with me?
I need to know?

Im so frustrated!! FU&K!! FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!FU&K!!

Im not going to accomodate to peoples needs / wants.... I should listen first? Yes! Then what?? I get misunderstood and mess myself up!? i hate being misunderstood...Im sick of it!! I really am... Just help me understand myself...I found it then i lost it.... what's happening? Help me please!!!! help!!! I hate feeling this way...I really hate it....

Why dont you just listen to me in the first place?? Then things wont be messed up by me???
When i say i cant meet up, why dont you just say ok? we'll meet another day? I suggest to meet weds, you say cannot, i suggest thursday, you say cannot? why dont we do this instead????? then i have to work around your time!! what the fish Then when i do, and when things dont turn out well, you want to clarify and then when i do, i think that im not ready???? and think/suggest that you leave me alone for a while when i said that in the beginning???? WTF right?? Its so irritating.. just cos you want it, i do it for you..I might as well just say no and just carry on, saying no and stick with with, and not care so much what you think! then i woulndt get the blame!! Shitty feeling all the time... Why dont you just listen???? Why dont you just listen????

you give me a situation and expect me to fix it?? I maybe i should just ask questions??? but what questions?

I try to accomodate as much as i can then i screw it up...i shouldnt accomodate then??? Doesnt that mean i dont care?
if me having to accomodate to you gets me into so much trouble and misunderstanding then why should i accomodate to you???? WHY WHY WHY??????


Im so bloody lke my mom!! Freakin shit...i hate it... i know she causes her own frustrations cos she accomodates so much to others that she forgets herself!!! How the hell can iget rid of this??? i hate it..i really do hate having her character..i really hope its not a character... id be damned if it was....

I want to really say how i feel, i want to share what i think, what i need, what i want and not really care so much what people think..dun care so much for people!!! Argh!!!

Feel so misunderstood.....its not what i truly want....STOP anaylsing!!! Stop giving me situations...just stop...I just want to understand, but i shouldn't question...the answers will flow....Lost in myself....
I just miss you...i just want you to help me....i need you to help me...i just want you to love me...i need you to love me....

I want to die.....